Message In a Bottle

Dear SS,

This is the only place I have left to talk with you, and even this place is compromised. I hate that more than anything that's happened, that I don't feel safe talking to you anymore, anywhere. The number of "hits" on our profile has risen drastically since we were shoved out of the Big House. Yet, the number of comments doesn't match. You can see what I'm thinking here, can't you?

Enough of that. I wanted to talk with you like old times. How're you doing? I caught your location reference yesterday. ;) Nice, that. Rather inspired. Then again, you've always been a clever thing.

Since I haven't been posting, I've been doing a lot of reading, and a fair amount of writing, too. I decided to read American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis. Have you read it? I could've sworn I read it when it was first published, but I can't remember. Let me tell you, if you haven't read it, the two words that best describe it are pornographic and violent. Lots of detail as well, but that doesn't get to me. In fact, the sex commentary sounds a lot like what I write. Which leads into the writing I've been doing...nope, sorry, no details here. Save that for another time. I have written a poem for you, though, it's a "miss you" poem. Wish you could read it, but I just don't feel comfortable posting it publicly.

We did go see Henry Rollins last Sunday. It was a marvelous show; he spoke for almost three and a half hours. Nonstop. And only took two sips of water. The man is unstoppable. He talked of his travels to foreign countries like Pakistan, Lebanon, Africa, etc, and the people he's met there. He was eight miles from where Benizir Bhutto died, on the day she died. He's done some brave, amazing things. He's also extremely funny, and humble, so humble you'd never know he was "somebody". He refers to himself as "a grey-haired, 47-year-old man". But he never stops working.

The things he's seen make the incidents at Mayo's look horribly blown out of proportion.

After all this time, I'd like to think you know me well enough to know I'm not capable of doing the things of which I've been accused. We've become close over the past six months; I believe in you, I have faith in you, I love you. I'm hoping that you still believe in, have faith in, and love me too.

You know I'm an email away, if you feel you can do that.

I miss you, precious. Take care of yourself, because I'm not there to do it for you.

Its all about the love, even now. Right?

Goodnight, babydoll.

J

P.S. Almost forgot! We're now going to TWO MCR shows, May 2 and May 4. We're both really excited about those trips. We're going to try to meet the guys again, like we did in Charlotte. Maybe, with some luck, that'll happen...