Unchained Melody

A huge heartfelt thank you and many XOs to all my friends who responded to my last post. I knew I had people who care, I just didn't know quite how many. You all made me feel so loved and appreciated, and I can't tell you how much I needed that.

I also realized that I haven't been as faithful as I could've been over the past six months. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember to email, visit blogs, write notes, call, etc. It's not a new habit by any means, but there's no excuse for it. So I'm going to start trying to be more "in touch" with all of you over the coming days, weeks, months, even years. I don't want to lose you girls; you mean too much to me.

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My nephew's wedding went off without any problems--amazingly enough for any large event involving more than two people. It was held at a small wedding chapel in the mountains; the setting was absolutely gorgeous, and the sun stayed out for them to have it outdoors. The rest of the day, however, seemed endless, as we spent most of it in the company of her family. All I'm gonna say is, the two extended families don't particularly mesh. But that doesn't matter. C and N are happy, and that is what matters.

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My niece graduated from Tulane Law School on the 15th, so she's on her way to becoming a lawyer. She'll take the TN bar exam in July, but won't get the results back for several months. She wants to specialize in international law (or she did the last time we spoke about it). She also wants to have all her children in the next five years. Three of them, I think she said. Practice law, have kids, be a wife, move back to TN. I said, Good luck. She's gonna be busy.

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SS! How are you, honey? I hardly ever talk to you anymore, do I? I'm so sorry. Seems I've been neglecting all my friends. Just like always, you've probably been really busy; you have that tendency. ;) I miss our evenings of reading by the bay window; our nights of enjoying the stars outside; being silly; being serious. You've always been there for me, baby, and for that I'm so thankful. Hope you're taking care of yourself. Talk to you soon.

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I also hope everyone is enjoying the fiery-pits-of-Hell-quality heat that's been the bane of my existence lately. I can take 80s, but 90s have got to GO! Blarg.

And no, I can't swim. :P

Am I Blue?

Maybe my problem is that I'm too naive. Maybe I've always believed in the basic goodness of others over the possible badness. I don't like to think that there are people in the world who say one thing to your face and then try to gut you from behind. But after being part of M's blog for about 2 1/2 years, I've learned the absolutely fucking hardest way possible that hardly anyone is what they seem. I trusted everyone when we first started. That was my first mistake. Thanks to the actions and treatment of some, I now trust minute numbers of people. I certainly don't trust new people. Each day I find out there have been more people who either don't like me or don't believe me. Then I start wondering, Am I really that horrible person that I was accused of being? Do I not see some character flaw in my personality that dooms me to be a cruel, heartless, vindictive bitch? Surely not, because no one's ever accused me of being that before. But it does get in there and chew on your subconscious. Why else would some of those I thought were my friends turn away and ignore me in favor of others who act completely horrific?

Some of those who swore they'd never let me down have all but disappeared from my life. Maybe I was just someone to fill in a gap in their lives and not someone they wanted to keep around. I'm no stranger to that treatment either, but fuck, I thought those days were behind me. And it surely doesn't mean I enjoy it simply because I don't say anything. It hurts me, really really badly. When I get hurt, I tend to clam up, hide away, so no one will notice me. If they don't want me around, they should be happy that I'm gone, right? Seems like I've always given more to friendships than I've ever gotten back--with one exception. L is the truest, kindest, most loyal friend I've ever had. Thank God for her; I'd never make it without her.

Everybody else apparently takes me for granted.

And I expect no one except L will read this post. But at least she will. I don't think anybody else gives a shit.

Lust for Life

Got a new/old CD by Iggy Pop the other day at the used bookstore. I'd forgotten how much I love his music; I haven't listened to him in a while. The album's called "Skull Ring", it's from 2003, and it's like he never aged at all. Iggy's the Grandfather of Punk, man, he's been around forever. I don't think he'll ever die. He'll just slowly...run...out of...steam.

Like, old punks never die, they just wrinkle away?

I don't know, but Iggy's about 63 or so, and he's still out there, thrashing himself around on stages everywhere. He can outdo Henry Rollins, as admitted by Henry himself. Yeah, he may not look the best, but the music's what counts here. It hasn't dimmed in intensity, or passion, or shock value. Just now, it has parental warning labels on it.

Let me leave you with one of my faves from "Skull Ring"; maybe it'll inspire you to rediscover, or discover, the Igster for yourself. Keep rockin.

Iggy Pop and Green Day "Supermarket"