Bittersweet Symphony

There are many things in my life for which I am thankful. I try to keep them in mind each day, in little ways, but sometimes that's hard to do. I remind myself, 'Hey, this isn't always going to be this way, one day he'll/she'll be gone, or I will, or the circumstances will change,' etc. And that does help me remember all the good things around me.

L is a wonderful gift I received 21 1/2 years ago, right after I lost my dad. She has been righthere ever since, if not always physically, then emotionally and psychologically. We've both changed a lot since 1988; we've grown so much and so subtly that it's been hard to notice at times. We're definitely better people because of our friendship. She's the Siamese twin I never conjoined with. ;)

Dumplin and Raindrop are little furry miracles in my life. Dumplin, especially, has helped me open my heart and my soul to love. He was the tiniest ball of fuzz at 8 weeks old; he could stand with all four paws on my ankle. Now he's 13 pounds of muscle and slinkiness--and takes up my entire lower leg when he lies down. I almost lost him three years ago due to severe illness, but he pulled through. I can't imagine him not being here. Rain? He's my perpetual kitten, full of love and cuddles. Not much goes on behind those green eyes, but he loves his Mommy and his big brother, and he's a whiz at catching special mousies. :)

I'm thankful for my home, having enough food to eat and electricity to stay warm, medicine and machines that help keep me alive, still having vision so that I can read and see my loved ones and the beautiful world around me. I'm grateful for living in the 21st century, where advancements are being made in everything. I would love to see cures for diabetes, AIDS, cancer, fibromyalgia, MS, all chronic diseases, in my lifetime.

I'm glad I live in the US, where women have rights, and voices, and freedom. I don't live in fear of being raided by the government.

I can drive and walk and shop and read and listen to music and sing and talk and see and hear and sleep and love.

My friends, many of whom I've met on the Internet, are so special to me and live forever in my heart. They lift me up when I can't keep from dragging myself down.

My family? They're a double-edged sword. They've been there for me as long as I'm doing what's expected, what's acceptable (either to them, to society, or to both). Once I stray off the beaten path, however...the support structure comes crashing down. So, sometimes I'm ok, sometimes I'm not. But that's just how it is. I'm learning to accept that situation, even if I don't like it.

I try to be thankful for both the good and the bad, because all of it has made me the woman I am now. And I like me pretty well. Usually. Every other day or so. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

xo jen