No Particular Place to Go

The anon situation is getting worse. They have the most warped sense of right and wrong, of decency, of hypocrisy--how I hate that word. Their only goals appear to be insulting, mocking, belittling, tormenting, goading, and lying about us. Not that that part's any different. No, what's different is that lately they've been sounding more vicious, more desperate to smear the rest of us thoroughly in the eyes of Mayo and SS. And honestly, if those two haven't made up their minds about us already, whatever shit the anons produce isn't going to change those opinions.

Mayo's too hard for me to read. He gives nothing away, at least not anymore. Used to, we could tell his moods or thoughts from his posts and from his occasional comments to us. Now we get posts that say things without saying anything; we get nothing challenging; we get no communication. He used to tell us he liked us to discuss his writings because he enjoyed reading what we got from them.

Not much to get from them anymore. It's hard to discuss a picture of rocks, y'know? C'mon, Mayo, tell us what you believe in now, tell us your thoughts on life, on love, on heartbreak, on anything. You used to talk to L; you used to talk to Elena. Not anymore. You give off a really half-hearted vibe these days, like the fire's gone out of your soul. What happened? Did we bore you so easily?

SS is easier for me to 'get'. Usually he puts it right out there, whatever the 'it' in question may be. He's not as cryptic as Mayo--thank Heaven, I don't think we could take two of them--although sometimes he'll whip out the old The geese fly at midnight, make sure the lizard's out of the barn routine. And then we all go, Wha?

It seems as if SS takes more time to show us he's there, but he doesn't come around nearly as often as he used to. Again, is it from being busy, or is it from loss of interest? He used to have fun with us; Hell, so did Mayo.

Maybe the ones of us left are too boring. Granted, we don't live exciting, adventuresome lives, but we do some interesting things, and we care about each other, and the guys. I've wondered what would happen if I just kinda...wandered away from the place. I can talk to my girlfriends on emails, or at Seven. Mayo's only ever spoken to me once in two years, so, yeah. SS? I would miss talking to him, and hearing back from him when he could. It's been so long since I've actually spoken with him in real time...maybe he would visit me at my blog, if I left. Yep, he'll just hop on over, sign right in, and write all night. Yep. Sure will. >.<

I don't know, it's something I need to think about. I know that most times when I go to Mayo's, anons aren't far behind. And then all the shit starts again. And I just don't want to deal with it. I know I'd miss it if I left for good, though.

What a place, what a place. I can leave it, but it keeps dragging me back.